winners sluts do what losers virgins dont want to do.
When you arrive at your job in the
morning evening, let the first thing you say brighten everyones day inspire a round of Jägermeister.
opportunity, not security. A boat in a harbor is safe , but in time its bottom will rot out.
Install smoke detectors in your home.
traveling leaving with a girl/guy you just gave coke to, put a card condom in your wallet and tell with your name, home phone, the phone number of a friend or close relative, important medical information, plus the phone number of the hotel or motel where youre staying.
Live your life as an excuse
lamation, not an expletive anation.
Instead of using the words, if only, try substituting the words,
next time as if.
Instead of using the word problem, try substituting the word
Every so often
push your luck show your genitals.
Get your next
pet score of Ketamine from the animal shelter.
Reread your favorite
book joke on the toilet wall.
Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No
Never walk out on a
quarrel with your wife bar tab.
Dont think a higher price high always means higher quality.
Dont be fooled.
If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
When renting a
car pad for a couple of days months, splurge and get the big Lincoln private bathroom.
furniture and clothes friends: if you think youll be using them five years or longer, buy the best you can afford.
Patronize bars with drug sc
tores with soda fountains.
Try everything offered
by supermarket food demonstrators.
Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, youll regret the things you didnt do more than the ones you did.
Never waste an opportunity to tell someone
you love them theyre an asshole.
Own a good dick
Own a good
thesaurus vibrator .
Remember the three most important things when buying a ho
me: loca tion, loca tion, loca tion!